While I've never been a stoner myself, I've made acquaintances with them in the past and as we've all noticed: they tend to say some pretty pseudo-philosophical things. So here my giggle-fit friends, is the college course of Stoner Philosophy 101:
Stoner Philosophy 101: The, like, shit that like is in the Universe and is I think of it with my mind.
| OFFICE: | Building 2, Room 420 |
| OFFICE HOURS: | 4:20-5:30 MON & WED; 7:30-8:30 TUE & THR; 11:30-4:20 FRI |
| OFFICE PHONE: | 420-4335 (leave a message after six rings; please speak loud enough and clearly) |
| E-MAIL ADDRESS: | Dragonfirecannabis@hotmail.com |
| WEB PAGE: | huh? |
| COURSE PAGE: | Wait what? |
| CLASS HOURS: | 5:30-7:50 MON & WED |
A. Description
This course is designed to open and free your mind to the philosophical..like..things, of like Bob Marley and stuff. It will be like an enriching experience and stuff. I forget what I was saying.
B. Course Objectives
The objectives of this course are as follows:
1. Enlightenment.
2. Discussing the creation of marijuana and the universe.
3. George W. Bush sucks.
4. Bill O Reilly does to.
C. Course Topics
1. Why the munchies are an inner outcry for fulfillment in the age of fast food and instant gratification.
2. Instant gratification? Mmm, that reminds me of Instant Mashed Potatoes. Why are Instant Mashed Potatoes so delicious?
3. It is weird that we only see our poop through water? I mean like, I don't poop in the woods. Why are you looking at me funny, do you poop in the woods?
4. Yarn and the innerworkings of the psychedelic universe surrounding us but not visible to our naked eyes. haha, naked.
5. Why republicans suck. (lol they wear suits and stuff)
6. I have this blanket from when I was a kid and it's got holes in it and it reminds me of the fragility of the universe and how human live is woven into it and how we can fall through the hole at any time. By fall through the hole I mean die though it's not like earthquakes are making huge holes or people just fall into the grand canyon or anything well I'm sure people might jump in there sometimes but that's not what I'm talking about i mean like, you see, this blanket is filled with holes and life is inconsistent it doesn't make much sense sometimes I remember the coffee my grandpa used to drink before he died it smelled really strong but not the way my blanket smells but it's like holes in the universe and we all die. Or something.
7. Have you ever read how Buddhists believe like you come back as something again if you are a good person. I would like to come back as a lab rat. That tests weed.
8. Someone once told me not to walk a mile in someone else's shoes before I judged them but I feel this is inaccurate. Just like their shoes would not fit me their life would not fit mine and I would react much differently in situations then they would like for example if I got a pizza delivered and my order was late and I was in someone else's shoes I still wouldn't be a fucking asshole to me.
9. Sometimes I feel like we in the world are all attached to each other. Like an interconnecting web of yarn and string and thread. And some huge fucking asshole cat keeps swatting at it.
10. People get abused in third world countries. Man, that blows. Lets stand outside with some signs or something.
11. Nietzsche said like "God is dead", but if God were dead wouldn't like the world be dead to. I mean think about it if someone created everything and then they died wouldn't it go with them if they were such a huge all-encompassing entity wouldn't the universe be directly tied to them? Or is it more like if I make a BLT and then I die that BLT would still be on the plate for someone else to eat.
12. Now I want a BLT.
Text and required supplies
-Gravity Bong
-Latest Issue of "High Times Magazine"
Conduct And Behavior In The Class Room
I forget what I was going to put here, but just show up to class. I am so fucking hungry.
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